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The 10 year old in his 40s

It’s surprisingly easy to forget that I’m carrying more than one version of myself. Most days, I move through the world as a hustling 41-year-old: managing responsibilities, making decisions, solving problems, and trying to keep things moving forward. I’m proud of that and fully embrace that. But every now and then, I’m reminded that the 41-year-old version of me is still inseparable from the 10-year-old version of me. He didn’t go anywhere. He’s just not always in focus - cuz duh, “I’ve got shit to do!” As humans, we tend to give our attention to the version of ourselves that feels most useful in the moment. The adult gets the spotlight because he’s efficient, capable, and knows how to navigate the world. The child fades into the background - not because he’s gone, but because we stop checking in with him. And when that happens, something subtle shifts. Life can become more controlled, more deliberate, and a little too serious. For actors, that shift matters. Acting doesn’t benefit fr...
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When Did Enjoyment Become Conditional?

Lately, I’ve been noticing how easy it is to treat joy like a reward instead of a necessity. How often rest, play, and pleasure get postponed until the work is done - or until it feels “earned.” The problem, of course, is that the work is never really done. There’s always another email, another decision, another thing that could be improved or handled better. I’m good at showing up. I’m good at taking responsibility. I’m good at staying in motion. What I’m less practiced at is stopping long enough to ask what I need that has nothing to do with productivity. Being mindful of that was a goal of mine for 2026 and it’s already something I’m bumping up against. Somewhere along the way, enjoyment became conditional. I’d relax after the deadline. I’d take a break once things calmed down. I’d prioritize myself when everything else was taken care of. Except those moments rarely arrive. And even when they do, I’m often too depleted to fully enjoy them. When I strip it back, what I miss most i...
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'I Miss My Mum' - And What That Taught Me.

Over the holidays, I was caught off guard by several waves of sadness that seemed to arrive out of nowhere. The kind that hits like a ton of bricks and leaves you wondering what just happened. One morning, at the end of a high-heat yoga class , lying in a sweaty puddle in shavasana , a simple thought floated up: I miss my mum. My mother has been living with dementia for almost a decade now. At Christmas especially, I’m reminded of all the years when she ran the show - the planning, the warmth, the magic she created. She made Christmas feel safe and joyful. I miss that version of her deeply. As I lay there, letting the sadness move through me, something else became clear. Sitting right alongside the grief was an overwhelming amount of love. The reason I feel this ache is because I love her so much. And in that moment, connecting to the fact that I’ve had so many years of being loved in that way softened everything. Gratitude crept in. I smiled. My nervous system relaxed. The sadness di...
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The Time Is Now. You’re Ready

As the year draws to a close, there’s a natural pause that arrives with it - a collective exhale. The days grow shorter, the pace softens (even if only a little), and we’re given a rare invitation to reflect. Not in a rushed, goal-setting way, but in a quieter, more honest one. Those of you who have worked with me a lot know that I love to ask thought (and feeling) provoking questions, such as “What do I really want?” etc. So, this holiday season I encourage you to ask this simple but powerful question: ‘ How am I really doing?’   For many of us, the answer may feel complicated. Maybe you did everything you were “supposed” to do this year, yet something still feels misaligned. Maybe you worked harder than ever and didn’t see the results you hoped for. Or maybe you grew - but not in the ways you expected. Whatever the case, let this be a reminder: your experience is valid, and it matters. The holidays can be a beautiful opportunity to care for yourself in ways that often get sidelin...
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The Bittersweet Magic of the Holidays - and the Hope Waiting in 2026

The holidays arrive each year wrapped in twinkling lights, warm gatherings, and nostalgic traditions. They can feel downright magical - a stretch of time where the world seems to soften, where generosity rises to the surface, and where we get to slow down just enough to notice the beauty in small moments. Joy is everywhere: in the glow of decorated windows, in the music that floats through stores, in the rituals we return to year after year. But the holidays can also stir up something quieter and heavier. For many, this season amplifies feelings of melancholy, loneliness, or emotional fatigue. The contrast between the festive world outside and our private inner realities can feel especially sharp. Maybe loved ones are far away. Maybe the year didn’t unfold the way we hoped. Maybe we’re simply tired, stretched thin, or not sure how we fit into all the celebration. These feelings don’t make the season any less valid - they’re a natural part of being human, especially during a time steepe...
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Go For Goals, NOT Results.

I was coaching a student recently and we discussed the difference between being goal oriented and results oriented. We talked about how striving for results can really limit us, because you either get that specific result or you feel like you got nothing at all. But when you move toward a goal, you stay open minded along the way. You’re available for other experiences and opportunities that show up unexpectedly, sometimes ones that are even more exciting or beneficial than the result you originally thought you wanted. This is especially true for actors, because we often slip into being results oriented without realizing it. It usually creeps in during busy audition periods, when your brain starts running the familiar track of “book the job,” “get the callback,” “impress the casting director,” or “finally sign with that agent.” Suddenly your entire sense of progress depends on one very specific outcome. If it happens, you celebrate. If it doesn’t, it feels like failure, even if you actu...
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Living in the Middle: The Gift of Ambivalence

I’ve been thinking a lot lately (again) about ambivalence, that uncomfortable, messy, beautiful space where two or more opposing truths can exist at the same time. In class, I’ve spoken about how frustrating it can feel to live there. We often crave clarity, certainty, and direction. But as actors and more so as human beings, so much of our growth happens right in the middle of that tension. There’s so much to learn from it if we don’t ignore or push it away.  Ambivalence is the place where love meets fear, where confidence meets doubt, where joy and grief can sit side by side. It’s the moment before a decision, the breath before the line, the silence between the beats. It’s the “in-between” that our minds often try to escape. But in acting, and in life, that space is gold. As artists, we are asked to hold contradictions with honesty. To love a character and still see their flaws. To want something deeply and fear what it might cost. That’s the work. And yet, outside the studio, we...
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