When Did Enjoyment Become Conditional?

Lately, I’ve been noticing how easy it is to treat joy like a reward instead of a necessity. How often rest, play, and pleasure get postponed until the work is done - or until it feels “earned.” The problem, of course, is that the work is never really done. There’s always another email, another decision, another thing that could be improved or handled better.

I’m good at showing up. I’m good at taking responsibility. I’m good at staying in motion. What I’m less practiced at is stopping long enough to ask what I need that has nothing to do with productivity. Being mindful of that was a goal of mine for 2026 and it’s already something I’m bumping up against.

Somewhere along the way, enjoyment became conditional. I’d relax after the deadline. I’d take a break once things calmed down. I’d prioritize myself when everything else was taken care of. Except those moments rarely arrive. And even when they do, I’m often too depleted to fully enjoy them.

When I strip it back, what I miss most isn’t time off or escape. It’s presence. It’s unstructured time that doesn’t need to lead anywhere. It’s creativity without an outcome attached. It’s moving my body in ways that aren’t about improvement. It’s conversations that don’t circle back to work, planning, or problem-solving.

There’s a quiet grief in realizing how easily these things slip away, not because they aren’t important, but because they aren’t urgent. They don’t shout. They don’t demand. They simply wait - patiently - while we attend to everything else.

And yet, these are often the very things that refill the well. The things that remind us who we are outside of our roles. The things that make the work feel purposeful instead of consuming.

I’m trying to notice when I tell myself I don’t have time, and gently question that narrative. Not with judgment, but with curiosity. What would happen if I made space for nourishment before exhaustion set in? What if I allowed joy to be part of the system, not the prize at the end? - Not easy, especially as a parent of a three year old.

This week, I’m not looking for grand changes. I’m looking for small acts of permission. A walk without a podcast. A meal without multitasking. A moment of stillness without guilt. These aren’t indulgences. They’re reminders that life isn’t meant to be survived in between responsibilities.

What I need more of isn’t another achievement. It’s the quiet, ordinary things that make me feel like myself again - without having to earn them first. If this resonates with you, let’s commit together to question the narrative of ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘I can’t prioritise that’.

Keep up the great work!

Mark :)