Love Within Brutality.

 Love Within Brutality.

As most of you who are members of Mark Evans Studio are aware, on September 3rd I started rehearsal for the brand new Broadway musical Tammy Faye. 

After six weeks of studio and technical rehearsals we began preview performances on October 19th. We officially opened the show on November 14th. Then, on November 19th, just five days later we each got a call from management saying that our show would be closing in three weeks, on December 8th. 

More than a hundred actors, stage managers, musicians, crew members and many more staff who were contracted for twelve months, will lose their jobs nine months too early. 

Many people reached out to me personally, asking how I was feeling when the news broke publicly and my main response was, “I feel absolutely exhausted”. 

Not just in the throw away “I’m really tired today” way but really EXHAUSTED. Exhausted and depleted of my energy, my determination, my focus, my hope, my resilience, my physical, vocal and mental energy. We literally made it through the predictably exhausting period and on the VERY first day where the job was supposed to feel a little easier, we were told it’s going away. 

The news was in no way a surprise. I was, like the majority of our company, paying attention to ticket sales from before I even started the job and the show just failed to find its audience. No matter what marketing the producers tried, people were just NOT buying tickets. The show has been running at about 60% of our potential capacity since the very first week and grossing less than half of what it costs to run the show on a weekly basis. Absolutely disastrous financially. 

I was, like every cast, crew and creative team member, pouring my everything into this show, because it’s Broadway and that’s what is required of you.  Excellence is expected. 

But I’ve been in this business long enough to know that if the money isn’t coming in, the show will not run. So it just took every bit of extra might within us to put on a show we all kind of knew, was not gonna survive. 

It’s a real shame because I actually think the show is very good. It’s flawed, for sure, but there’s a reason it did phenomenally well in London and why audiences who ARE seeing it are having a good time. It’s clearly just a show that not enough people want to see right now.

So, how do we make this a moment that’s universal for you, my students and not just about the challenging times of putting on Tammy Faye?!

I want to share with you all that tonight, as I was on stage, I was, to be honest, really struggling to give it my all. I was pulling it from the depths of my soul during some of the production numbers. I delivered, but it took much more will-power.

And then at the end of the show, I was singing the final moment of my show and felt a big surge in my entire body. 

“I LOVE TO SING” 

That’s what I felt. I freaking love it. I LOVE to sing. And I LOVE to act. 

Very often we feel that the industry and the big money, decision makers are so much more powerful than any of us little minion performers.

But tonight, on the stage of this Broadway show that is about to shut down for good, my love for singing and acting overpowered. My love for my art is stronger than this show. 

And that helps me reclaim my power at a time that feels uneasy. My art is my strength. 

And I wish to remind each of you of that.

Let yourself figure out what is it about acting, singing, dancing, performing, playing - whatever, that gets you fired up. Ask the question and get as specific as possible with your answer. Once you figure it out, GO AFTER THAT!!! 

Hold onto that thing and find every opportunity to let that light, that love GLOW BRIGHT because it’s the only thing that you have ownership over in an industry that is all too often, painfully brutal. 

As I felt that feeling on stage tonight, I felt grateful to the misunderstood little gay teenage Mark who, against all odds, followed his love of singing, dancing and acting. It was his courage that started this journey and I’m grateful to still feel that passion and love all these years later. It’s my responsibility to take care of that kid who still resides in me in every performance that I do and every class that I teach.  That kid’s definitely resilient enough to navigate the abrupt closing of a Broadway show.  

Look after yourselves and as always….

Keep up the great work

Mark